Thursday, May 21, 2015

How to spot a Cuban-American.......

Ever since Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio announced they were running for President of the United States, they as well as Cuban Americans are not deemed LATINO(We are NOT in this exclusive Club) enough or as interview above asked asinine questions proving how Cuban he really is. Believe me I have been told by “LATINOS" (I forgot we are not in this Club)” and non-LATINOS that I don’t look Cuban, excuse me; I did not know that Cubans were supposed to have a LOOK?
El Café Cubano has come up with a guide for you to SPOT a Cuban right away without having to check his Cubiche card for verification, a Cuban litmus test if you will:
1)      We wake up in the morning saying,” I have only two things in this world, my balls and my word”
2)      When we get home in the evening we say “Lucy I’m home”
3)      We finish every sentence with “Meng”
4)      We all eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day at Versailles
5)      In Cuba, our families worked in casinos with Meyer Lansky, and ALL of us brought our millions to the United States. What we have is because of “special treatment”
6)      Santeria is our official religion and practiced by every single Cuban
7)      At lunch every day we play the bongos
8)      We ONLY listen to CUBAN music and specifically the song Guantanamera
9)      We all drive 1959 Chevy’s
10)   We all live in Hialeah and Little Havana, not Miami Lakes bro
11)   We ALL SMOKE  cigars
12)   Mafia members
13)   ONLY play baseball
       14)      LOUD, NOISY, DISRESPECTFUL ALL the time!


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

elian gonzalez interview

Here is a HARD HITTING interview with Elian........well NOT REALLY, NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Jim Avila conducts the SOFTBALL interview(Did Al Madrugal check to see if Jim Avila LATINO Enough?)

"A icon in Cuba"  I thought the dictator of Cuba was NOT going to use Elian politically?

"Whose father stood up to the United states" NOPE, whose father who DID NOT stand up against the dictator of Cuba. Well let's see Jim, why don't you ask the silent father, how many times did he attempt to flee to the US before the Elian drama? Why don't you ask the father if he knew that Elian LEFT with his mother to the United states on a raft?

Who orchestrated this interview??? Is it coincidence the timing of this interview?

"A Selfie with the Cuban people"

Monday, May 11, 2015

"Castro: Pope Francis so impressive I might return to church"

Dictator Castro "MIGHT" return to the church, if let's see, the Vatican helps with the removal of the embargo and removing Cuba from the terror list?

I hope the Vatican pressed the dictator on:

-Stop BEATING up the Ladies in White on the way to Church
-Stop aiding and abetting the FARC in Colombia
-The release of ALL Political Prisoners
-FREEDOM of speech, religion, and of the press
-FREE Elections
-Regime change after one family in power for 56 years
-Accountability for ALL the executions
-All the wealth stolen from the Cubans returned back to the Cubans
-Stop CONSTANTLY HARASSING the Cuban people
-What happened to Oswaldo Paya?
- STOP the Travel Restrictions and the Family Separation
-Stop sending weapons and missiles to terrorist countries
-Removal of over ALL castro spies in Miami.
-Did Fidel really sellout Che?
-What's the deal with spermgate, and why were political prisoners in Cuba NOT given the same "SPECIAL TREATMENT?"
-Stop "LATINO" activist and comedians from HATING and RESENTING Cubans and not have Cubans EXCLUDED from the exclusive "LATINO" Club
-pay for the dental work for Allan Gross
-APOLOGY to the CUBAN people for ALL the atrocities committed against them.

Saturday, May 09, 2015

"LATINO" of the week: Al Madrugal!

El Cafe Cubano nominates Al Madrugal the "LATINO" of the week for his comments and fondness for Cubans! His bio states the he is half white and half Mexican, but I believe it's more half comemierda and half postalista.

For his nomination and winning the "LATINO(NO CUBANS ALLOWED IN THIS EXCLUSIVE CLUB)" of the week, Al will receive:

Bottle of Jalapa( it's a sticky substance, that comes from a sticky fruit) so he can apply it all over and on that toothpick that he used on Comedy Central.

A comedy appearance to do stand up at Versailles in Little Havana, while wearing your "Cubans are snooty t-shirt"

A raft and inner tube to go to Cuba and  do comedy for the dictator brothers in Cuba! Make fun of the dictatorship and see what happens "LATINO"brother, just maybe you will feel our pain and what it FEELS like to be CUBAN!!!!!!

Instead of El Jebe t-shirt, a "El Comemierda" t-shirt courtesy of El Cafe Cubano

Congratulations for the AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 08, 2015

"Al Madrigal Says What Everyone's Thinking But Won't Say About Ted Cruz And Marco Rubio"

Humberto Fontova at Babalu posted an article titled

"Comedy Central’s token Latrine-oh (Mexican Al Madrigal) denounces Cubans as: “a snooty subset–the WASPS of the Latino world”

Now here we have an article by another Cuban Hater,

Friday, May 01, 2015

May Day Protesters: HAPPY COMMIE DAY!!!!!!!

Since it's May Day(Commie Day) and  protesters and "Activists" will be  marching for labor and immigrant rights all across today and probably will take advantage and direct their "ACTIVISM" message towards police brutality.

In the spirit of commie day, All the "immigrants" who are NOT here legally will have their country of origin BILLED for medical care and other expenses on a daily basis(redistribution of cost). Secondly, ALL the wealth, Houses, cars, royalties and ALL of the money  of the Hollywood celebrities, community activist, and Michael Moore will be REDISTRIBUTED to all the immigrants not here legally and to the unpeaceful protestors in Baltimore!

Not that is a May Day to remember!!!

May Day: Happy Commie Day!!!!!!

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Cuba news: T-shirts for those traveling to Cuba!

                              El CAFE CUBANO T-SHIRT SALE!!!!!!!

In the spirit of the renewed relations beyween the U.S and Cuba, El Cafe Cubano blog has T-shirts for those traveling to Cuba!!!!

For only $19.59 you get at tie dyed t-shirt, one size fits all(In the spirit of the Cuban government way of thinking), and you will go in style to Cuba!

You can chose from these catch phrases and slogans to bring both countries closer together:

"Comemierda tourista"    English translation: Friendship

"El comunismo es una mierda"   English translation: These 1950's cars are COOL!

"Cuomo es un postalista"   English translation:  Cuomo really CARES about the Cuban people!

"que clase comemierdas somos nosotros diciendo La Paz" English translation: Just say PEACE and Cuba will be FREE

"LIBERTAD para Cuba!!!"   English translation:  Spirit of friendship and brotherhood!!!

Cuba News: The Cuba issue is resolved

Over the last several weeks in the media, I've seen non-stop articles on how Cuba will AUTOMATICALLY change and be RESOLVED because of:
*Basketball Diplomacy
*Dictator Castro went to a Jesuit School and since the Pope is Jesuit and visiting Cuba shortly......and POOF change will happen
*NY Governor Andrew Cuomo visits Cuba on a trade mission....Abracadabra........All these visiting states will get rich from trade and Cuba will change!
*The tourist foaming and taking pictures of the 1950's cars in Havana
*Removing Cuba from the terror list will make them simply nicer and NOT ship any more missiles to hostile countries
Simply by saying "La Paz" and "Dialog" in a very soft and very caring voice will automatically bring peace, FREEDOM, and prosperity to the Cubans!



Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Monday, April 27, 2015


This past Sunday I attended mass with my family to thank God for all my blessings and forgiveness for all my sins! We leave our local Church and we pick up some publications on our way out. One of these publications is the Florida Catholic. I start thumbing through the pages and come across an article titled :

" Apply Cuban Adjustment Act to other Immigrants"

Now within the last several weeks I have seen the increase of articles repeating the tag line that Cubans get "Special Treatment" with regards to immigration. I have had that said to me from other immigrants(here illegally) from other countries other than Cuba, but when I school them on the Cuban situation and what encompassed the Cuban Adjustment Act, they look at me with a blank stare. The majority of them here because they overstayed their Visa, BUT they DEMAND all these benefits. Now MANY not ALL did not leave their country of origin because of persecution or because of their beliefs.......simply economic

Now above we have a picture Augusto Monge, Cuban-American activist, who was attacked by a PRO CASRTO MOB at the the summit of the Americas in Panama.

You see that is why many of the millions of Cubans fled the COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP island run by thugs, as you can see in the picture above, that is one of the "SPECIAL TREATMENT" Cubans, and AMERICANS of Cuban descent have suffered just for believing in FREEDOM and having an opposing view from the Cuban dictatorship.

As I continue to read the article, I come across these quotes from Archbishop Wenski: 

"Cubans have been the most successful immigrant group in American history. Aside from their own talents, one of the reasons is the Cuban Adjustment Act, under which they can obtain legal residency after a year of being here, and citizenship five years later"

Oh I see.......It's NOT ALL THE HARD WORK, SACRIFICES, EVERTHYING that the Cubans have had to to endure from the Cuban DICTATORSHIP ranging from TORTURE, IMPRISONMENT, CONFISCATION OF PROPERTY. It's NOT the Cuban exiles seeing the BEAUTY and the OPPORTUNITY that the United States has to offer, AND that tini, tine thing, called FREEDOM.

Here is another beaut:

"Because Cuban immigrants benefit from this law, we should not ask that they be abused like the rest; we should treat everyone as well as we treat Cubans, because if the Cuban Adjustment Acts works for Cubans, it can work for every-one else"

I see...unbelievable

Sunday, April 26, 2015

"Texas business leaders head to Cuba for a front-of-the-line position for renewed trade"

A delegation of Texas business leaders are in Cuba today to discuss with the Cuban dictatorship the issue of trade.

North Texas wheat farmer Ben Scholz:

"I'd rather stay out of the political conversation,"

"I just want to focus on selling wheat, and this is a great opportunity to do that

Well, this dawg don't hunt! El Cafe Cubano is fixing to tell you something......

at least Mr. Shultz is honest about his intention of only doing business and making money in Cuba. Nothing wrong with that......BUT you see EVERYTHING with the Cuban DICTATORSHIP is about POLITICS!!!!!!

What about the CUBAN PEOPLE?

What about the Human Rights Violations?

No FREEDOM ?????????????

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Preso politíco John Utria desde la prisión de Las Tunas

Top 10 Things to do when you visit Cuba!!!!

The AP and other news outlets are just FOAMING at the mouth, plus they are posting non-stop articles about Americans traveling to Cuba and POOF Cuba will just change automatically.

Since El Cafe Cubano can't compete with the non-stop propaganda from the news outlets, this blog has decided to help those who travel to Cuba with some tips or things TO DO while in Cuba:

Here is a top 10 list:

1) BONUS: When you step off the plane in Havana, make sure you hit the local watering hole for some mojitos, and while toasting, make sure you say REAL LOUD: ME CAGO EN FIDEL


By saying this I am SURE you will be upgraded in your accommodations!

2) Go to your local Hospital or Clinic and get yourself a check up or better yet some surgery. Remember go to the one that are usually reserved for locals, to get that AUTHENTIC local flavor!!!

3) For you Architecture lovers, since Cuba has been unspoiled for 55 years, stay in those Art Deco buildings(the ones you see Crumbling all over)  for the REAL Cuba feeling. Electricity and running water are optional.

4)This is really cool...... Get yourself in a 1953 Ford taxi, feel like your stuck in a time warp, and ENJOY YOURSELF to some Cohibas while touring all the land, buildings, and Houses stolen by the regime. Try to facebook, twitter, and snapchat while doing this....

5) Volunteer at your local political prison while wearing your Che t-shirt

6) You want something REALLY Authentic: Get some rafts, inner tubes, or any floatation device, and at the crack of dawn, take to the water, and for kicks, see how long it takes you to get to Miami!!!

7) While doing the tours, and when you go by the Dictator's compound, wave those huge FOAM fingers, the one with the middle finger extended and say hello this is a salute from Miami.

8) Bring some computers, laptops, cellphones, all types of electronics to the dissidents(make sure you declare this when you get off the plane in Havana!!!!)

9) Bring some extra cash for a smoke a thon with Fidel(depends if he is really alive or not)

10) All these are touristy things, but check out the possibility of opening up a business with the government, they are reliable, and they always PAY!!!

Top things to do in Cuba……continued

El café Cubano is stunned by the amount of emails and responses concerning the post entitled “Top 10 Things to do when you visit Cuba!!!!”

Many emails requested more tips and tricks on things to do in Cuba………Bongo roll……..Here you go:


 1)      I left one thing out on tip #1 on the original post, so I made sure I corrected it:


BONUS: When you step off the plane in Havana, make sure you hit the local watering hole for some mojitos, and while toasting, make sure you say REAL LOUD: ME CAGO EN FIDEL y RAUL


By saying this I am SURE you will be upgraded in your accommodations!


2)      Join a ADOPT A DEFECTOR PROGRAM while in Cuba.

First of all make sure you get all the required paperwork and permits from the Cuban government. Instead of laying around on the beach in Varadero ,smoking Cohibas and sampling the local Cuban girls in your mankini, spend your vacation time using your mind (escape routes, raft building, local knowledge of tides currents, spotting chivatones, etc)


3)      Play the “Where is Ricardo Alarcon game”

Use your wits and a “must” for a team building exercise for families and businesses! Scour the island looking for Tricky Ricky, ask your local government officials, set up an apt. with raul, use your skills to find out what happened and where is Tricky Ricky!


4)      Diana Nyad Swimathon(swim from Havana to Miami)

This is a MUST for the athletically inclined! Join and encourage the local Cubans for the swim from Havana to Miami. Boats, rafts, inner tubes will be available if you get tired or can’t make it all the way.

5)      “I’m a baseball scout” theatre program

This is for you actors or Hollywood types!! Get into character (get permission from Cuban government first!!) right off the plane. Spread the word that you are a baseball agent, test your Spanish skills, and bring out your passion trying to recruit the local baseball talent.


6)      Tip to the tip of Cuba Congo line

Join the inaugural Conga line that starts on one end of the island of Cuba and stretches to the other end of the island of Cuba!


7)      Stop the Police brutality March…A MUST******

Join the Rev. Al Sharpton for the weekly march held in Havana in front of the capital building protesting police brutality!!!


8)      Revolutionary Camp Out

Camp out in the mountains of Cuba just like the revolutionaries did!! Dress in military fatigues, carry machine guns, let your beards grow, and have skirmishes  with locals, and a mock skirmish with the Cuban government(surprise them and film it, Facebook it, and Snapchat it!!!


9)      “Live like an EXILE day”

Great for people to people relations and get that REAL authentic Cuban feel. I suggest this again for the Hollywood types and the Cuban feel good doers!!

Rent a house, get awakened in the middle of the night and get interrogated for hours!! Depends on what package you purchased. Get thrown in prison and tortured or do the package, where they confiscate all your belongings in the name of the revolution. The exilio package also includes a raft and an escape route to Miami. Listen to speeches of Fidel talking for 6 hours, and be able to watch hours of film showing executions in HD!!!!!

When you reach Miami, have thousands of people greeting you with insults, having no money what so ever, saying that you deserved everything to be taken away from you and YOU ALSO deserved to be tortured.

**** I highly recommend this package*****


10)    Stay in an Exile home while in Cuba program

Cuban exiles all over the world have developed a list of confiscated properties and Houses. To save money, go to these places and stay for FREE! Say this is mine, take it over, use it, don’t worry about the people that live there (they might act surprised, but they know its part of the package and have made arrangements) Enjoy it and have your grand parties, cater food in, rent a local band!

Disclaimer**** No housekeeping involved in this program and the property must not be returned to those who live there***




Thursday, April 23, 2015

TECHNICAL: NBA holding camp in Cuba today

a four day " athletic diplomacy " basketball camp starts today in Communist Cuba. Here is the article from the AP:

The NBA is the first U.S. professional league to visit sports-crazy Cuba since the declaration of detente between the Cold War enemies late last year.
Stars such as former MVP Steve Nash and Hall of Fame inductee Dikembe Mutumbo will open a four-day training camp Thursday to wage athletic diplomacy and boost the profile of Cuba's arguably fourth most-popular sport, after baseball, boxing and soccer.
Cuba's men's team finished third in the 1972 Olympics and its women's teams dominate International Basketball Federation (FIBA) play in Latin America, but basketball has been one of the Cuban sports hardest-hit by players' departures for other countries. It's widely perceived to be at a historic low point on a national level.
That doesn't deter thousands of young Cubans from taking to street courts and abandoned lots to race between improvised hoops mounted on posts or even trees. The NBA and FIBA plan to renovate three courts as part of the four-day event.
The training camp will be aimed at top-level Cuban players as well as children and teenagers. It will feature Utah Jazz coach Quin Snyder and Orlando Magic coach James Borrego, among others.
''It's magnificent that the NBA and FIBA are working on training youth and the development of this sport in our country in a way that will benefit the future of this sport at a national and international level,'' Cuban Basketball Federation Chairman Ruperto Herrera said in a statement announcing the event.
As part of his move to engage Cuba, President Barack Obama this year did away with a requirement for athletes to request U.S. government permission before heading to Cuba for a sports event. Participants in competitions and exhibitions now have blanket permission to travel to Cuba, along with 11 other categories of travelers such as academics and people participating in religious activities.

Hold on.....El Cafe Cubano calls a TECHNICAL FOUL:

but basketball has been one of the Cuban sports hardest-hit by players' departures for other countries. It's widely perceived to be at a historic low point on a national level.

Well the players DEPARTED from Cuba because of the lack of FREEDOM and to leave the lavish salaries they were making in Cuba.

TIME OUT........We will take the ball on the side.....

Now before the media starts printing stuff the next couple days of predictable stuff, I will beat them to the dunk:

-Dictator Castro was actually one the top basketball players in Cuba during the 1950's, and was known for his dunks on the island. Referees suddenly disappeared after the dictator felt that their were questionable calls.  All the NBA teams were interested in him at the time and were fascinated with his baseball, tennis, badminton, golf, and volleyball skills

-Basketball was only played at the casinos in front of all the mobsters and Hollywood celebrities during the 1950's

-In 1959 a NBA expansion team was considered for Cuba:

The Cuba Casino Mobsters.....

Cuomo really CARES about the Cuban people!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

La Paz......REALLY?

How many times have we heard from the "FEEL gooders" throwing out the buzzwords like "La PAZ" or dialogue on social media? Somehow by saying these buzzwords just POOF peace will happen?

Well, for decades the FARC in Colombia have been terrorizing the Colombian people with their Leftist ideology and Cuban training.

The Colombian people are OUTRAGED with the recent actions of the FARC killing 10 Colombian soldiers....

YET not one PEEP against the Cuban Dictatorship that BACKS and FINANCES the FARC.

and there are holding the peace talks in Cuba? You are freaking kidding me.........That's like having an AA meeting in a bar, and FREE drinks flowing.

To my fellow Colombian brethren, wake up, you can't DEAL with terrorist, and YES the FARC are financed and backed by the Cuban dictatorship.

So stop the comemierderia of saying "La Paz" or "dialogue" and really do something for your country and denounce these terrorist.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Obama to remove terrorism label for Cuba----What about those missiles that were found on a ship in Panama?

UNBELIEVABLE..........Did everyone suddenly forget about those pesky missiles that were found on a ship in Panama in route to North Korea from Cuba?

Monday, April 13, 2015

SPECIAL TREATMENT Cuban immigrants?

Above we have a picture Augusto Monge, Cuban-American activist, who was attacked by a PRO CASRTO MOB at the the summitt of the Americas in Panama.

You see that is why many of the millionsof Cubans fled the COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP island run by thugs, as you can see in the picture above, that is one of the "SPECIAL TREATMENT" Cubans, and AMERICANS of Cuban descent have suffered just for believing in FREEDOM and having an opposing view from the Cuban dictatorship.

The Sun Sentinel ran an article about some polls that Cubans get "SPECIAL TREATMENT" because of the LAW, Cuban Adjustment Act of 1966.

You mean to tell me that the estimated 15-20 million ILLEGAL ALIENS here in the US don't have "SPECIAL TREATMENT" and benefits??

What is Cuban Col. Alexis Frutos doing attacking Cuban dissidents in Panama?

Inline image 1

HEY what is Col. Alexis Frutos, the head honcho of Cuba's intelligence services in Venezuela doing in Panama attacking and beating up dissidents?

hmmmm.....why didn't the Col. offer a handshake to the dissident? Why NO UPROAR from anyone in the media?

DO YOUR HOMEWORK(media) and stop relying on soundbites and scenes from the Godfather movie for your knowledge on the Cuban situation.

Que cosa mas grande.....

click here for more at the REAL Cuba!

Un coronel castrista en Panamá

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Why is the media so silent about this?

The media all gushing with words like "historic" and in the meantime those who believe in Democracy are ATTACKED by Cuban DICTATORSHIP supporters. really BELIEVE that DIALOGUE will work with thugs like this?

Historic handshake?

Historic handshake? HISTORIC will be the day Cuba is FREE, and this dictatorship no longer in power!

Thursday, April 09, 2015


56 years in power, executing, imprisoning and threatening those who oppose the Cuban dictatorship in any way!

Dialogue? You mean to tell me that people actually BELIEVE that dialogue with this Cuban dictatorship will actually bring change in Cuba? The Cuban dissidents have been heckled, Cuban exiles have been attacked at the summit in Panama.

History has shown that 56 years DIALOGUE has been squashed by the Cuban dictatorship!

"Cuban dissidents heckled at Americas Summit"

From the AP:

Associated Press


Para más información:
Asamblea de la Resistencia Cubana
(305) 220-2713


Golpeados brutalmente por turbas castristas miembros de la Resistencia cubana durante una demostración silente ante busto de José Martí. Han sido arrestados.

CIUDAD PANAMÁ, 8 de abril del 2015. Asamblea de la Resistencia Cubana. Un grupo de activistas de la Resistencia cubana quienes en esta ciudad denunciando la dictadura castrista fueron agredidos físicamente por turbas castristas en el Parque Porra, frente a un busto de Martí donde los activistas rendían tributo al Apóstol de Cuba.

“Íbamos en una marcha silente hacia el busto de Marti en el Parque Porra y fuimos golpeados por turbas del régimen castrista. Hombres nos daban sin importarles que habíamos mujeres. Golpearon fuertemente a Antúnez, a Orlando Gutiérrez, Augusto Monge, Yris Pérez Aguilera, otros más. Nos están arrestando en este momento, nos llevan al Cuartel San Miguel. Denuncien esto por favor”, dijo Isela Fiterre de la junta directiva de MAR por Cuba desde Ciudad Panamá.

La delegación constituida por líderes opositores de dentro y fuera de Cuba, realizó una conferencia de prensa en horas del mediodía de hoy y anunció la celebración de un foro de unidad pautado para este jueves 9 de abril a partir de las 9:30 AM.

El régimen castrista arremetió contra la delegación en el día de ayer con las acusaciones contra los exiliados y opositores que fueron hoy agredidos.

Como parte de la delegación de activistas dentro de Cuba se encuentran el abogado invidente y activista de derechos humanos Juan Carlos González Leyva, del Consejo de Relatores de Derechos Humanos de Cuba, entidad que ha documentado la violación de los derechos humanos en la Isla, la activista Yris Tamara Pérez Aguilera, que preside el Movimiento por los Derechos Civiles Rosa Parks, agrupación de mujeres en diferentes partes de la Isla, que luchan por los derechos humanos y cuyas manifestaciones han sido duramente reprimidas, Leticia Ramos Herrería, activista de las Damas de Blancoy una de las principales líderes opositoras en la provincia de Matanzas, y el intelectual Rolando Rodríguez Lobaina, coordinador de la Alianza Democrática Oriental(ADO) y director del proyecto Paleque Visiónque realiza reportajes independientes dentro de Cuba.

Cubanos de la Resistencia en el exilio también brindaran testimonio durante la conferencia.
Entre los integrantes exiliados de la delegación estarán la empresariaSylvia Iriondo, presidente de Madres Anti Represión por Cuba, el principal movimiento de mujeres cubano americanas y destacada líder cívica en la ciudad de Miami, así como el Dr. Orlando Gutiérrez-Boronat, Secretario Nacional del Directorio Democrático Cubano, una de las principales organizaciones internacionales que denuncia la situación de derechos humanos en Cuba y trabaja para apoyar la resistencia interna en Cuba.

Al cierre de este comunicado se conoció que estaban siendo trasladados del Cuartel San Miguel a San Francisco en la misma ciudad Panamá.